Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Ridley is easily the coolest looking Nintendo character ever. However, in this picture he was the last one I did so the coloring job is rushed and ass-tastic (especially on the wings). Well, Ridley is one of the main villains from the Metroid games, and a personal favorite of mine. Since he’s so huge, I saw it fit to put him farthest in the background and as a sort of high-up center piece in the picture.
Yeah, I called him “Pokey” for years since that was his name in the US version of Earthbound, but really Itoi meant for his name to be “Porky”. Well, Porky is depicted here in his Mother 3 appearance (amazing game. I highly recommend it) . While Ridley is the coolest looking, Porky is just one of the best villains in Nintendo games, and video games as a whole. He goes from being just the neighborhood pest of Onett to corporal super power and controller of time, space and humanity as a whole. Porky’s a true tyrant, and he’s so despicably terrible in all of his dialogue and actions. Never has a lower and creepier villain been in a video game. Porky also serves as a centerpiece with Ridley here, in his giant mech. One of the best villains ever from, what I feel is, the best RPG series ever.
I know what most people are probably thinking – “If Wario’s on here as a villain, then how can his rival be on here too?” Well, not only was she the antagonist of the first couple Wario Land games, but she was introduced attacking and robbing the Mushroom Kingdom. She’s a pirate. There’s no such thing as a good pirate. I particularly began liking the character after her appearance in Wario Land : Shake It for the Wii. The relationship between Syrup and Wario has so much potential, though Nintendo refuses to see it. The fact that they are rivals and also friends who are constantly trying to screw the other one over for treasure is just such an entertaining concept. Unfortunately, though, Syrup is not Pikachu, Link, Mario or Kirby, so Nintendo sees no reason for her to make any sort of frequent appearance. She kind of messes up the whole “mean, scary mugs staring you down” effect this picture originally had. She looks more like she wants to play. Oh well, that’s how she gets you. She’s the busty, saucy captain of the Sweet Stuff (formerly the S. S. Teacup). My original impression of her was a way hotter version of Gina Davis from Cut Throat Island.
You can’t have a Nintendo villains picture without the greatest classic-evil rogue of them all. Ganondorf from the Legend of Zelda series is a good old fashion evil bastard. No tragic or sympathetic back story, just a man composed of pure malice. And, contrary to popular belief, that makes for a great villain sometimes. Ganon is one of the classic examples of evil in my mind, right up there with Count Dracula. Originally I was considering doing Ganon in his original big blue pig form, but I realized that most of Nintendo’s villains already are big stocky beasts, and I just happen to like his N64 appearance best.
Medusa from Kid Icarus is a villain that should be regarded as one of he greats but, like everything in Kid Icarus, she was totally forgotten until Super Smash Bros. Brawl revived Pit (in a creepy, under-aged sex slave fashion) and his series. The original Kid Icarus is still incredibly entertaining, and difficult. However, Medusa is a little too easy. Battling the weird face machine thing is easy enough, but then when you destroy it and reveal the true woman form Medusa, it takes one hit to defeat her. Recently Nintendo revamped her appearance for that new waste of time, unnecessary Kid Icarus game for 3DS that is only coming out 20 years late now because weirdoes decided they liked Pit in Brawl. But now Medusa’s way sexier. I tried to incorporate the best features of both forms.
Although not the most important villain in Starfox, Wolf is the easiest to incorporate in a picture like this. It’s no mystery that I love drawing this guy looking rabid. Wolf was ultra badass in Starfox 64, however, all I hear about later installments just seem to be destroying what was cool about him (or destroying everything that was cool about Starfox for that matter). If it’s not the SNES original or 64, don’t bother. Wolf O’Donnell is the head of the ruthless team of outlaws turned bounty hunters/assassins, Star Wolf.
God, I hate Kirby so much. I just feel like Nintendo FORCED this franchise to be popular. I will never stop thinking of it as that doofy little Game Boy game that was entertaining for about 30 minutes and was intentionally crappy and poorly designed. Some how, though, Nintendo made people recognize it as something more by forcing out about three games a year and trying to create the illusion that a game about a smiling zit living in happy land is actually an epic to be taken seriously. Well, in the end, I have grown to like King Dedede, mostly because of Brawl. Also because he’s pretty much the only Kirby character who isn’t just a geometrical shape with a face. Who doesn’t like a big fat gluttonous ass hole?
Of coarse we need King Koopa in the mix. Nintendo’s most infamous villain, King Koopa’s been trying to tap Toadstool for more than three decades, and continually fails miserably (or so we think. He did get a butt load of kids mysteriously at some point. Hmmm…). Although Bowser has pretty much been destroyed as an intimidating final boss and made out to be more of a goof over the years, when you originally got to Bowser’s lair for the first time in old Mario games, there was a combination of fear and adrenalin rushing through your body (only to find that he’s ALWAYS too easy to defeat). I tried to catch his more menacing side here. So, yeah. Bowser. You know him. You love him.
Lost but not forgotten, Wart, the evil monster toad king who kidnaps babies through story books and haunts plumber’s nightmares. Wart was an evil king in Doki-Doki Panic who resided in Subcon, a magical world where he pulled two children from the real world. Wart made a handful of cameos over time, but Nintendo has altogether just written him off. I know I’m not the only one who wants this guy back. However, I may be the only one who wants another Doki-Doki Panic title to surface.
KING K. ROOL
Another character Nintendo seems to want to forget (probably because he was made by Rare and Nintendo’s a bunch of selfish little brats) but K. Rool will always be one of the great villains of Nintendo in my mind. With roles ranging from tyrant king, pirate captain and mad scientist, this guy had loads of potential. Head of the Kremling krew, King K. Rool and his crocodile army were the main rivals of Donkey and the kong clan. His objectives never seemed to make any sense, but he was a great villain nonetheless. Another menacing fat bastard.
Ever since it was released, I have hated Pokemon on a whole other level. Aside from the monsters being stupid looking, the gameplay being half-ass and boring, and it being the biggest money-stealing scam of all time, I just plain don’t like it. I still don’t get how it reached the level of success it did. I still feel like it’s some huge, global joke that everyone’s in on but me. But, anyway, you’re probably wondering why there’s a Pokemon here. Well, plain and simple, Smash Bros. Melee made me think Mewtwo was badass. And he is pretty badass. I tried to make him look more like some sort of alien or some king of genetically mutated creature since he was supposed to be made in a lab. I don’t really know or care if he is a villain or not. He was a villain n Smash Bros., a villain in that god awful movie, and he looks cool. That’s why he’s here.
And lastly everyone’s favorite fat, nasty, greedy, ugly son of a bitch, Wario. I used to have no interest in this guy, as for the bulk of his time he had terrible games. However, in later years Wario’s got some great titles and earned himself a rightful spot among the great ones for me. He’s shown here flexing and protecting his stash of treasure and garlic.
So that’s everyone pictured here. I really hope you all enjoy this picture, as it took me way too long to complete. Wouldn't mind seeing any of these guys in the next Smash Bros., well, except Porky. He's a great character, but without his mech he's just a fat coward. Just cut the crap Nintendo and give us Kumatora. Download for the best view.